Gratefulness

I wanted to write a few thoughts on Gratefulness and what it means to me.

As i sat in church this past Sunday morning in prayer. Gratitude was the word that came to heart. Just this instant feeling of gratitude that I could come to God, my heavenly Father and knowing that he not only hears my heart in that moment but that he knows my heart better than I do. He knows what that heart needs and he’s already providing it things that I will come to know when his time is right.

God is faithful and enduring in his quest for our hearts. Not once has he turned away. Even when we showed such little faith or acted with such little gratitude for him, he still didn’t look away from us. He still stands there beside us with that same look of love in his eyes for us.

I’m grateful that he is the God of love. That his love not just fills us but that it empowers us. It empowers us not only to be better people but also it is the very thing that draws us so close to his side in the first place. He keeps drawing us closer to him because his love for us is so powerful and so engaging. It’s hard to imagine ever turning away from him.

As I sat in the days ahead and just thought about it, I asked myself why it was that I was so grateful? What was it in particular that made me feel such gratitude?

It was a simple and very clear answer – In those moments it is there that you realise just HOW much God has done for us! You think back to all those little things that were provided to you when you needed them. All those times you cried out for an answer and it all worked out for the better.

He is constantly at work for the betterment of our lives. We just need to understand the way he works and things that our Father God is saying to us and then we will see the way he is moving in our lives.

When I think about that gratitude for all that he has done before and is doing now, it’s a place that feels like we’ve stripped all of life away, all of its distractions are not present. It’s just God and I and our thoughts. It’s a place where I am reminded of what it is that really matters and it all starts with love. It is the very reason for my gratitude.

It is where gratefulness and love meet. They do something only God can do. They grow in that place, inside us! Always take the time to remind yourself of your gratefulness for what the Father has done.

“What do you bring to the table?”

2020 has been a strange year. It’s been unique. It’s been unprecedented. I think we’ve heard that word an unprecedented amount of times too, which only confirms what a strange year it’s been.

I’ve found 2020 to be beneficial in its own unique way as well. I’ve found it thought provoking. I’ve found it one where perspective has been more useful than normal. I’ve found we’ve been asked to think outside the usual parameters we’re accustomed to.

Individually the same can be said. Like one Sunday morning as i sat there on zoom tuning in to the latest “church on the couch”, as has been for months now this year. We were asked a question. A short one. But it was thought provoking, and in a good way.

What do i bring to the table?

The question is very much also a saying. What is it we can contribute? What is it that we offer? What is it that we know we possess that is of use to others? In this context it is all about what we bring to God, the Father’s table?

For me it starts with a simplicity. I’m simple. I know what I want and I’m going focus on that and only that. I’m not asking for much. I’m simply asking for what I need.

There’s authenticity too. I carry something genuine and real and it is me. It is mine. Friends and acquaintances have often spoken of it. Of how I carry something like the fingerprints of Christ. He’s put that in me, I know so.

But as he’s mentored me he has shown me how to go further. To love, encourage and to show compassion. He’s helped me realise that life isn’t all about me. The need to respect and consider others is of equal importance to that of my own.

He’s given me a desire now to speak that in to others through writing and no doubt through words that I also speak. Being brave enough to be open and honest is a damn hard task. Not least because you essentially expose yourself to others. “ Expose” probably isn’t the greatest word to use because by now i feel it’s less exposed and more offering up what I’ve found to be good for me. In the earlier days it did feel more like exposure.

But in doing this he has shown me the value of doing just so. We humans are meant to co-exist. We’re meant to do life together and the value in community is so high. Perhaps it’s the emotive reaction that connection brings? Or maybe it’s simply that our circumstances feel familiar and empathy is felt? We’ve all been in these places at one point or another

When I think back to that desire the father has given me I don’t just see the desire he’s put in to me but equally the desire he has for me, and wow! When you see that it blows you away. His desire is borne totally out of love. Unconditional love. When I think about this I feel it’s hard for us to fully comprehend how much he loves us. We have an idea, but that idea is based on our own idea. I have a feeling he loves us even deeper than that.

His love for us is a lot like taking a ride somewhere. It’s been a journey. We’ve had to learn and discover the deepness of his love. The journey has taken us places, it’s given us emotions that have changed us and when you look back 10 years, 5 years, 2 years and then today and you see all these parts he has built up within you. They have made you stronger and wiser. They have taught you so much that you are not the same person you were earlier. It’s not possible to be the same person anymore.

If the Father has made us so perfectly in his image then it is our duty to best believe that his design is intentional and the things that make us who we are were truly meant to be. Our identity is something we need to embrace.

That brings me back to the question I’ve been asked a few times lately.

What do I bring to the table?

The saying has been around forever but in the context of our relationship with the Father i wonder if we’re truly aware of what we bring to the table? I’m aware of the things I bring. I mentioned them at the beginning.

Things like authenticity and genuineness were words given to me recently. I’ve seen it and know it to be true. Another word given to me which also sits in line with the others was presence. Presence is not something you practice. Presence is something you carry and if anything it is more of a reflection. It’s what people see.

I think those are three amazing things to bring to the table.

Authenticity

Genuineness

Presence

Each one of those I see mirror the way the Father also was. The beauty in this is that this is what he intended for me. I didn’t really ever work towards this, it just became a part of me as i matured. This is how the Father builds us up. This is how he built me up.

I want to finish with this. The other day I was reading out of Acts chapter 2. Here King David spoke of a Lord who he walks with so intimately. He knows that he is forever side by side with him. He speaks of his praises, his joy and the hope that is so strong.

“I see that the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and my tongue shouts his praises! My body rests in hope. For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your Holy One to rot in the grave. You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence.’”

Acts of the Apostles 2:25-28 NLT

It’s my hope that we all find a place where we can each be thankful for his presence, praise him for the joy he has given us and continue to live in such strong hope that he is forever with us on this journey. We will not be shaken. He will not be moved.

Whatever it is that you bring to the table you should have a confidence in it. A confidence within yourself. Your value is found in the things that Christ has given you. And all you bring is all you need to bring. It is all he intended for you. It is all you need…..and it is yours to keep!

Riding the wave

A while ago I found my mind drawn back to a text message sent to me some 14 months ago. At first I wasn’t sure what to make of this memory. But i felt that God had placed it there for a reason.

For the first few days I would think back to it but not really take the time to investigate it. Kind of like procrastinating. We know we want to or would like to do something but just never get around to doing it. The thought stays there but it remains a thought, and that’s exactly what happened.

About a week later things had not really progressed but if I knew one thing it was that God has a habit of doing things in his time. So I asked myself why would God bring up the text message in my mind out of the blue? There simply had to be a reason for it and I knew it!

The text was from my pastor Matt. He had been spending time praying for me and during that time had seen a vision that represented God calling me in to a deeper place of intimacy with him. In this vision I had been in the water wanting to catch waves but not having the courage to do so.

I knew full well what that meant, but to be honest, what did that look like? I had no idea.What was i to do? How was I meant to go about it?

The waves represented the Holy Spirit. Essentially I needed to be bolder and catch those waves. Because in the vision the moment I did catch one I was overjoyed. I was ecstatic!

I wanted that SO much! I wanted to know I could do it. I wanted to experience what that reaction was.

So I prayed.

I prayed and meditated on those questions. On what it meant? And how I would go about it? I started looking intentionally for the answers and the truth was I found them right away. They weren’t ground breaking answers. They didn’t change many things at all but what I see now is they got my mind searching deeper and got me in to a routine of doing this.

Almost like my mind was being retrained – to look at things from a slightly different perspective. If I felt curious or unsure on something I began to see that this was my mind expanding.

A lot of what I was writing on in this period was from that initial perspective. A perspective that focused on encouraging and loving. A perspective that knew that in that place of honesty and vulnerability there were people out there who felt the same things or needed those words for themselves.

But as i started searching deeper for God’s intimacy I realised that I had stopped writing. That even though I had a lot on my heart, I wasn’t feeling moved to write things down. Instead I was being called to stop. To listen. To rest. To seek and find these reasons for the pause.

Even as I write this now my latest piece sits unfinished and here now is another piece put together so easily, almost as if God has placed it all on my heart right now, for this moment, this purpose.

The purpose is not just for me. It’s never about me. It may involve me but it’s never about me. It’s about God. It’s for God and it’s done with our Father, God.

What I realised when looking back at this text message was that what was spoken in to me that day is what has indeed happened since then. It’s been gradual and it’s been consistent and it has blessed me time after time again.

I still think about a time when I found it challenging even to write things that provided just a small window in to my thoughts and feelings. As introverted as i can be at times, this was a wild and yet bold step to make.

That feeling quadrupled in intensity when writing about thoughts became writing about deeper, more intimate matters such as what God has been doing in and around me.

But by this point it felt almost a necessity that I stepped in to that place and in some ways was actually an easier step to make because the words almost always come easier than when I write about other matters. Almost like God just laid it all out for me and I just needed to put it together.

The revelation in this experience for me was found in the way God had used that text message to show me what he had been doing since that day. At times we lose sight of some of the things he does for us, so to pull it back in and focus on things in hindsight was amazing! Because I could see HOW much he has done during this time.

I look at the way a COVID world has impacted this too. The routine of a Sunday spent in church, as good as it was, was changed. My focus – shifted, again.

Church has still been a big part of my Sunday just via Zoom and to be honest. I love it! Why? Well funnily enough it feels more intimate, it takes us deeper via the conversations we have. There is openness, vulnerability, honesty, love, kindness and inspiration. But perhaps the one thing that stands out most is that despite a world where isolation is a common theme now, it is community and family that are growing in this space.

Zoom has also challenged me to continue down this road I am on. I get to be Inspired and at the same time hopefully inspire and encourage others.

It’s also a proposition for the future. It’s a bold invitation to continue down this road. That as I step deeper in to him that there is a purpose that I will understand far better on another day.

The challenge today is definitely found in the connection we establish with others. Life has been altered. The opportunities are still there but they look different. They occur differently, none the least they are still there.

However I am so encouraged that I was drawn back to the original message so that I could see what God has done, and I’m eagerly awaiting what he wants to show me next.

The beauty of God is that he crafts us so intricately, so uniquely that we can have no idea what he is about to do next. But we can be safe in the knowledge that he’s always working within us.

I feel like the only thing left to say now is to encourage. We all have our own story. It is unique, it is something worth sharing and you can. But it is our story and what God has planned for each of us is going to be different for each of us. That’s what makes it unique.

But find encouragement even in the little things he does. A thousand small steps is a lot of steps In the right direction. So even if when it feels like he’s doing little, be encouraged that he’s doing something and piece by piece it will all make sense and you too will look back and see HOW much he actually has done.

As for me the shift is obvious. The fork in the road, long past. Those thousand small steps have left me in a place where I am ready for that next thousand steps as the journey continues

Positive & Grateful

A few months back I sent a text to a friend and asked how they were doing? Their response was nothing out of the ordinary. But this friend did happen to say one thing that stuck out after that.

“I’m just trying to be positive and grateful”

Life may not have been any which way for my friend. Just more routine. More of the same. But they were still learning to remain positive about where they were and grateful for all they had. Thinking about that and it is a really simple and effective method to apply to our lives.

Being positive isn’t always the easiest of things to do. I find quite often we are selective as to when we choose to be positive. If nothing is out of the ordinary we tend to let routine just grind us away. It’s neither positive or negative. It’s just life!! It seems it’s a lot easier to be negative. If things don’t go to plan we can be negative. If things don’t look the way we expect or want….we be negative. When Uber eats is 5 mins late…..We. Be. Negative!


But where does that negativity get us? Does it make the negative a positive? Of course not! In fact it doesn’t do anything but make it worse. It’s wasted energy! It’s exhaustive! However it’s all in our mindset.

Positivity is a mindset, not an outcome. That doesn’t mean we turn blindly to our circumstances and pretend that something negative didn’t happen. It just means we choose to be bigger than that moment and not let it weigh us down. We can overcome it.

Grateful is one of my favourite words. I am grateful about a lot of things in my life. I learned this all from a young age. Life is not to be taken for granted. Life is to be appreciated. You’re meant to stop and enjoy it.

What you have in life, be grateful for it all because your circumstances could always be different. A lot of people who face adversity seem to end up finding their own unique perspective on life. Experience refocuses the lens that they look through. I learned through early challenges in life that the simple things in life matter more and appreciating those things, being grateful for what I do have will be a key to genuine happiness.

Appreciating the little things in life may seem insignificant to some. But it’s funny how many of those simple things bring you joy. Simple things like sunsets and sunrises captivate our attention. We marvel at their beauty! And what of laughter. Laughter fills us with an energy and joy that makes us feel alive in those moments.

It’s easy to focus on the things in life we chase and desire. Chasing them like the end of a rainbow. But just maybe it’s also worth realising you already have so much to be grateful for. Maybe it’s friends and family you are grateful for? Or perhaps it’s a job that you love? Or perhaps it’s as simple as being grateful for another day and another opportunity to get where you want to be?

Find comfort in the things you are grateful for in your life. And in case you hadn’t connected it yet. Being grateful is such a positive thought to practice.

“I’m just trying to be positive and grateful”

It’s a wonderful place to start a new year!

Faithfully growing

All the tests they endured on their way through the wilderness are a symbolic picture, an example that provides us with a warning so that we can learn through what they experienced. For we live in a time when the purpose of all the ages past is now completing its goal within us. 1 Corinthians 10:11 TPT
https://bible.com/bible/1849/1co.10.11.TPT

It’s hard to believe that 2022 is getting towards its end. It’s been a busy one this year! It’s been full of activity, full of responsibility and oh so time consuming! it’s hard to remember a year like it…. I’ve never had a year like it!

For all that has happened the one thing that has suffered has been the opportunity to write, and that sucks! But truth be told maybe there is reason behind it? After all, seasons come and go. Sure enough, seasons return and that is perhaps what I am experiencing right now. Whilst there’s been little time for writing. Time hasn’t been wasted learning and living.

So what has 2022 taught me? Well it’s taught me that God has other plans for me. That’s no surprise is it? It doesn’t appear he’s one to let me sit comfy in a cycle. This year he has placed me in a position where he is developing my leadership skills. I’ll tell anyone that cares that I am barely a leader. The idea of carrying others and leading them doesn’t sit well with me. Introverts are like that. It’s not a natural thing and whilst it gives me confidence it doesn’t give me power and I certainly don’t feel the power if it is there.

That’s not to say He shouldn’t use me though.  Instead I guess it’s true that I am instead leading by example. Leading by simply stepping in and doing the things that need doing. Oh yes! I am better at that. Much better at that! See leaders don’t just gather people and motivate them or inspire and motivate teams around them. Leaders are doers! Leaders are the ones that show others how it’s done.

As i ponder the path that has been 2022 I can see that it’s more than what I’ve mentioned so far. The noise and intensity of the year may well be loud. But through it all I’ve felt the Peace of God upon me. Though I’ve had to do much more than imagined, it’s never been more than I can handle.

James 1:2 begins with the heading – “Faith and Endurance”. If you read the rest of the chapter all you get is wisdom followed by more wisdom. But for me what stood out most was those three words. Faith and Endurance. They are words I know well and have drawn upon them regularly.

I thought to myself. What do those two words actually mean to me? Well for starters I actually feel a correlation between the two words upon my life. I guess a lot of people probably do as well. And the result of that correlation between the two words is actually a pretty impenetrable force that resides within me.

Faith represents the most obvious thing. With each day I live, I do so by faith. I can have faith that God will provide all I need for that day. It will never be too much to bear. He will sustain me as much as I need. In the year that has been I’ve had to lean on the hope that as much as things might be uncertain in some areas, that if I give it to God He will take care of the rest. I have faith that He is moving me in the right direction.

Endurance, much like faith is like the act that just keeps on keeping on. It keeps going……It doesn’t appear to end!! My endurance is a desire to simply keep going. Why? Because you don’t get anywhere if you stop. If you stop you will miss things ahead. You will miss chances to learn, chance to grow.

Faith and Endurance are two things worth building. They are worth persisting with. I love that word too. Persistence. Like Faith and Endurance I connect with Persistence too and it is true of this year too. I’ve had to persist and keep at it.

The final lesson this year has been discipline. If I’m honest discipline is not my best asset. Sometimes I’m great at it. At other times it’s an all too familiar stumbling block. Through it all though I feel God is making me stronger In this department. As I work through this he shows me all the ways that he is in fact equipping me. I’ve come further than I perhaps realise. How? By simply keeping him near and listening and observing the lessons upon me. I’ve learned it really is SO much easier when we do all things with God by our side. Nothing is too much. Nothing is hopeless and nothing is too lost a cause on his watch.

I think it’s incredible that in a year of much change and uncertainty around me, God has proven that He is the only certainty around me. And really, that is the thing I hold on to the most right now. Times and circumstances may change but God’s role in all this remains the same and he keeps delivering for me. I just have to remain present and open with him and allow Him to guide me through life.

The year that’s been is not the year I imagined, but I can see the entire purpose of it when sifting through all that has happened. And the beauty in that is that all I can see is the benefits of having walked through that all.

I can only imagine next year is going to be just as beneficial. Here’s Hoping.

His great love

I sat here one morning, about a week ago now, with Romans 5:8 before me, where it says –

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
Romans 5:8 NLT

I think anytime you start your day with a reminder of His love for us it becomes a blessing. No, it’s not just a reminder but a blessing to take hold of tightly. It’s not that we need reminding of His love for us. I know I’ve delved into His love so much deeper in recent years. To not just go deeper in search of it but to go deeper in experience with His love

This morning I felt Him wanting to challenge me to let this reminder of His love be something that empowers me. That as much of a blessing His love is on me, He wants me….and us, to use His love as something that goes back out towards others we come in contact with. A challenge of empowerment because love is a powerful thing and something that is capable of breaking down all barriers.

We have much to be thankful for. SO much to be thankful for! Without His love where would we be? Without His love what example would we be programmed to set? His love is an example for us but I wonder what it would look like if we more actively empowered ourselves to use it so that we might bless those we show love to? Just maybe that was his point with His challenge all along!

Blessings aren’t just about something that God provides us with. We can bless God with our own efforts and equally important He definitely wants us blessing those around us too. Remember. It’s not the size of the action but the heart in the action. And as He first loved us, the least we can do is love those around us in the same way.

Transitions

Transitions.

They are a process. For some transition comes easily. For others it’s a hard thing to do. Not only does your situation perhaps change but your mindset does too. Most of the time we adapt well to transition, I know I do, but I’ve learned recently that adapting to things doesn’t always mean you transition the way you should.

The process is key and how you process it is most important. At the end of last year my church experienced massive change. Even now, a few months further down the road, it still stuns me just how different things are. There are some elements that remain the same but by large most things are different.

We as a church spent 2020 and 2021 online doing Zoom. It was church as a body, but not the way we originally knew it. But it was amazing and the way it grew people’s faith and drew them closer to God was just something so beautiful. I miss those days in many ways. But in other ways I know that its purpose was filled and as churches reopened across Sydney it was time to focus back on being part of a church that had a physical presence in the local area.

Everything has its place and it’s time, it was time to focus, time to transition back in to the heart of what a church in its local community needs to be doing. But that transition was not an easy one to face. In the build up to reopening our church our pastor decided to call time on his leadership Kiand follow the path God had laid on the heart of himself and his wife.

Their departure felt initially like shock and loss, quickly I realised that this was perhaps also part of a bigger plan that God had, not just for themselves but for our church. Their hearts were being drawn in one direction and the needs of their church, and its community, were two different things entirely. It was simply the right time for a separation.

For me though, I found this moment simple enough to digest. I respected the needs of our pastor to follow the direction God was calling him in. I could respect the opinions and understand why some felt hurt by it too. And I could also understand anyone who felt stuck or disoriented with where they were in the time that followed.

Disoriented is probably the word that best described my place in the weeks that followed. God and I were fine, but all those outlets and people that I’d come to know and the ways in which they fed my soul in the past 2 years had changed. They were still there in one sense but the way it all worked had changed, and it took me a while to realise what it was doing to me.

Over the past few months my ability to process the transition has been gradual. One of the key lessons was more recent. When we transition, we adapt to this new thing. In this case, reverting back to a more traditional experience of church. But that transition involves being able to move past what was and embracing what is.

I learned that adaptation is something that requires careful consideration. We can adapt to something if we put our minds to it, sure! But when we adapt, are we accepting what has changed? Or are we adapting to the change and just boxing away the old, rather than dealing with what it actually means for ourselves?

In accepting that the old is gone and the new is here there is a process where the way we think changes. That adaptation allows us to move forward but it’s natural to still hold on to the past. There will be people we miss or conversations that just won’t take place anymore.

For me, I missed the way I was being fed in conversations or even just listening to people talk about a subject matter. It connected with me unlike anything previously. What the loss of it did was leave a void, kind of like skipping meals on a regular basis. It left me hungry and eventually left me not quite feeling like my usual self.

As of now my transition has moved forward. I’ve left that disorientated state of mind. I’ve left some sort of valley and found the clear air again. Sometimes there are valleys we just need to walk through and experience. It is there we experience a graceful wonder. We walk through these valleys not because we are lost but because there are things we are seeking as we wander. Without walking through these we would not see the things God wants us to see.

We learn in these places of how God has moved us and grown us. He has taken us there to show us things, and to grow us. This particular valley for me has been one of adjustment but also one where the things that looked different to me just needed some redefining again. A little like adjusting the focus on a camera so that what you see becomes clearer once again.

Transitions feel like the closing of one door and the opening of another door. But perhaps it’s not the closing of any door? Maybe it’s a little like walking through a couple of open doors, one after the other and into a different room? It doesn’t need to be the end of anything but more so it can become the adjustment or realignment to whats in front of us.

As we transition I think back to the fact it’s important to look forward and not behind us. We can’t go back. We remember the past fondly but in order to grow we need to look forward and trust the plans God has in store for us. More importantly, don’t just look forward, look to God. When it looks different and you feel a little lost, then draw close to God. Pray about it, meditate on it. He knows where you’re heading, even if you yourself feel a little lost in it all.

His presence

I wanted to write a little something on the presence of God. His presence is something that He has drawn my attention to even more so than usual in recent weeks. I am always aware of his presence, aware also of the fact that his presence works within us and around us. Sometimes we see it and feel it, sometimes we don’t. In those moments I have learned that He still is working and as time passes we do see that He was in fact working.

So in this past month I have kept reading and hearing the word Presence…..His presence. When words keep appearing I’ve learned to pay attention to them more than ever. What I began to uncover was In fact the way that His presence was working within me and around me in this season.

This was His chance to highlight to me the ways in which he was doing this.

This season has seen me fracture my left hip. As of this week that road to recovery has finished. Things really couldn’t have gone better. There were no obstacles or setbacks. In fact the recovery process was pretty quick.

Things in one sense are now back to normal. But the journey I have been on throughout means that I am actually in a different place than what I was before this began.

See, God has used this time to grow me. He has shown me much of his provision over my life. More than the simple “Geez! This could’ve been a whole lot worse and harder to endure. Thank you Lord!” – which it could easily have been.

Instead He used this time show me the ways in which his provision was over me. First, I was in fact lucky my injury was not worse. My hip also happened to fracture in an unusual place, high up, which meant surgery wasn’t necessary and I would be able to move around in the days preceeeding the injury and that it would hopefully heal naturally and it has.

But over time he would show me more. There was his peace that strangely sat with me In the hours after my injury. No fears, just peace in the dead of night. And as the the recovery began it was His love and healing that came in. No doubt prayer played a massive part as well for which I am grateful.

I was given a word one Sunday morning that a friend had been prompted by God to speak of His peaceful presence upon me and the words to be spoken were “healing joy” over me. 5 days later I was due a follow up x-ray on my hip. Sure enough the results showed it was healing as hoped.

HEALING JOY!

There it was! In that moment I could see that the word given to me was confirmed. How could I not praise Him for that word and the timing of that word. Like He was calling out “I’ve got you”.

What’s fun to look back on now as this season has closed is simply the way that He has used His presence. He used it to show me His provision for me. He used it not just to heal me but to also show me the depths of His love for me But perhaps more telling is this. He used it to grow me and used it as a means to go deeper with him, so that I would see it all!

I remember a while back a friend had posted a photo from a friend’s phone. The image was of something undefined. What also was unusual was that they weren’t sure how that image came to be there. We were asked what we saw when we looked at the photo.

The word that came to mind for myself, and a few others too, was presence. Presence because what I could see was that there was something there. I had no idea what it was but there was the presence of something there. Parts of it were more defined, others were not so, they were almost like faded, or yet to come to full view. Particularly some parts around the edges were not clear.

But perhaps what it also represented was that this presence had parts which were full and parts which were still growing. These represent parts which have yet to be defined. But also those parts being around the edges might just represnt that something there is growing and expanding and that it will define itself with time.

And just maybe this would look a little like my journey in this season. That God would show me and teach me more about His presence and that this would in time grow me so that His presence is in fact more defined within me than it was the first time I saw that picture and of course, more defined than the day I fractured my hip.

Pretty cool, I say!

His presence is always working for us. It’s within us and around us. But sensing and acknowledging His presence allows the chance to go deeper with Him. It allows you to become more intimate and open with Him. It’s there that we grow with Him, for when we intentionally invite him in, that is where he can work with us for the good things he has planned for us.






Clarity

“The Holy Spirit is leading me in new ways. In ways which feel deeper to me. He is taking me higher, transcending to a new place or space. The conversation in our walk has become more personal. It’s purpose seems very intentional. It feels of greater importance for me. It’s of a greater richness.

Everything before this was planned so that I was able reach this place. Now I am able to live in this new moment. And the beauty of it all is that this moment will teach me new things, it will reveal greater revelations and he will reveal even more yet again when he is ready“.

Above is something I wrote much earlier in 2021. It all happened one morning. I just wrote a few words down that just flowed. What I then saw over time was that it grew. Not so much the words that I wrote but the experience those words represented. As I sat there and listened to God and this intentional direction for me I realised that it’s something that happens on his time, for a moment he knew would come. His timing is perfect and measured. We don’t always see it as His timing and want things on our time but I have my head around that now.

He will fill me up with SO much of his goodness. I read scripture in which he asked,

“Do you not see what I am already doing?”

Yes, Father. I see clearly what you are doing. My faith expands in these moments. It expands because our journey together has allowed me to grow and to see what I previously could not see.

I am discerning things with greater regularity and accuracy. It all looks so much clearer now. The lies and the truth are separable. But more than that, He is teaching me to discern the spiritual aspects of those battles I may encounter on my journey.

I am seeing things clearer.

Many months ago He caught my attention with references time and time again about eyes and vision.

They just kept coming.

Sometimes they were scriptures. Sometimes they were just words that kept reappearing. Sometimes they were the words of others spoken in to me. The theme though was strong.

What were they to mean?

It was a period of a few weeks where the spotlight was drawn to my relationship with God. People speaking of my eyes drawn and focused completely on God. Focus became a key word. It became a word where his presence was felt, like he was calling out “focus” to me.

So what do you do there? You focus! You focus on him and fix your eyes on him. Later on I would listen to a sermon and it was put this way:

“The only thing that matters is that you connect with God and get the word that he has for you”.


Do we not realise that he’s after the complete affection of our heart? To gain the complete affection of our hearts he first requires our focus. Our complete focus. We must give him our full attention.


A few months beyond this earlier period of being called to focus I received the word “Clarity” at a wedding.

It was this wonderful idea where the bride and groom took turns at writing words on a card for each of their guests. These words would sit on the table where the guests would sit at the reception . A word that could be spoken in to the guests that day.

Clarity was a word I”d not received before. I had to take a moment to let it sink in. But it quickly became apparent that this word was a word that had God’s truth all over it. I spoke briefly to two close friends who were with me at that moment. They agreed and spoke in to me the way in which Clarity was indeed a part of who I am. This was also an example of God letting me see something that was previously unseen by me yet
I could see it in that moment. I could see just where clarity was part of my identity. But God’s design goes further than just giving me that word. That word then breathes life in to me. Clarity becomes more than just a word. It grows within me. It does something within me that builds me up, he uses that space to bring clarity to and for others.

When I live out my design the way he intends, it does things for his kingdom. When you live out your design, using your gifts, you are doing the same thing. You are doing things for His kingdom by His design.


“Focus on what you have. Not what you can’t control” (Steven Furtick).


The above quote is one I thought about for a while. Straight away it leads you to look at yourself, your spiritual self.

What is it that God has called you in to?

Where is it that God is leading you towards?

What is it that is on your heart time and time again??

God is leading you down that road for a reason!

Exodus 4 provides us with a brilliant example of how God does this when he interacts with Moses and asked him to lead the children of Israel in to the promised land. In particular verses 1-2 highlight what I want to focus on here;


But Moses protested again, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you’?” Then the Lord asked him, “What is that in your hand?” “A shepherd’s staff,” Moses replied.

Exodus 4:1‭-‬2 NLT

Moses was so concerned about what “they” would think that he didn’t realise he had all he needed. God showed him this when he replied “what is that in your hand?”

The way God directs Moses couldn’t be more clear to me. He draws him back to focus. He draws him to focus by reminding him that he has all he needs. It is already within him. He has it in his hands. God has provided all that he needs. He need not to worry about what they might think.



This blog is one that I’ve sat on for months. Much of the earlier part was written around March 2021. It’s now late July. Inside that time you see a journey. You see a way in which God has worked. He’s allowed clarity to form. At times he’s used our daily interactions to make his point. At other times he’s used the words of others. Some words intentional, other words perhaps ones where their impact was unknown to them at the time.

That is how our Father works. It’s by his design. Even in our uniqueness he has figured it out and will execute it if you listen to him. What I see now is that this experience with God has taught me the value of focus. He constantly asks us to draw near to Him and that if we do that he will draw near to us.

And finally, back to clarity. For years I sat in awe of my favourite bands who would come up with the best lyrics. Lyrics that just hit you where you feel it most.

Song writers, like story tellers, seem to often write the words that we ourselves feel. But more than that, sometimes their words speak what we feel Inside and for whatever reason we haven’t been able to articulate them ourselves. We see the words or hear them and find revelation in that moment!

That is the magic of having people speak things or write things that hit us in the feels. Sometimes we just need to be given the words meant for us. Why? Because they bring us clarity. Clarity is like sitting upon the clearest of blue sky days at most the pristine of locations with the clearest of waters at your feet. There’s something about it which just feels right and it feels good! It’s revelation and growth, together. It’s even better when you know it involves our heavenly Father.

It’s always been in you

Last night as I returned home from work I stood there at Town Hall station here in Sydney waiting for my train. Most nights I scan through a chorus of podcasts for something to listen to. There’s a bunch of different podcasts I follow. But there are some there i value and a few that allow me to spend some time with the Father for another 35-40 mins before I reach my front door.

One that I’ve really enjoyed in recent months has been Steven Furtick from Elevation Church. I’m sure part of what I’ve enjoyed is his delivery. It’s passionate, it’s high energy but most importantly he speaks with a sense of “real” about him and it aligns with my own heart so well.

On this particular podcast he spoke on the belief that “It’s always been in you”. He spoke a strong message on the fact that God has been working within us our whole lives. From the day we were born he put “it” within us. He crafted us SO uniquely that day. He crafted us SO intricately that one day we would reach a point of growth and maturity in our lives that we could choose to accept his invitation to relationship with him

And from that moment of accepting his invitation he then allowed us to seek and discover our spiritual giftings. He allowed us to not only discover them but also entrusted us to use them to bring glory to his name.

In Luke 6:45 it says:

“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.
Luke 6:45 NLT”

I love the last line in this verse!

“What you say flows from what is in your heart”.

When I think about the things that he has given me, I think about the importance of what it is that he is asking me. On one hand so much of that is about simply being in relationship with him. But it’s not about me. It never was about me! It’s always been about Him!

So what He has given me may well be for me but it is for me to use to bring glory to him. What flows from my heart is what I speak. What flows from my heart is the action in what I choose to do. Does it produce good? Or does it produce evil? Does it align with the things the Father has gifted to me and entrusted me with?

I’m very pleased to admit that most of time it does. Like anything there’s always room for better but I know that so long as I stay in relationship with him we will always be in that right place with him

Staying close to God is key here. Because as Steven said in his message, distractions and the way of the world will always get in the way. People will always have other ideas about you.
People will put titles on you which say “That is who you are”. They will define you by those titles, by your successes and failures. They will limit you by what you can do. That may then lead you to think you are what you can do. You then lose yourself and gain the world but jesus said “what good are you?

He put it perfectly, Steven. He then nailed it!

“Don’t let anyone put anything on you that will cause you to forget what God put in you!”.

That’s right! It’s SO right! Amen for that.

Always remember first what God has put in you. In our HBC Community we are all well aware of the things that God has put inside us. We are known by them. We are Faithful. We are Lovers. We are strong and we are giftbringers and lifegivers. We are many things but all things are designed to give God the glory and what flows from our hearts and our mouths is what God has put inside us and I love that about us!

In Jeremiah 1:5 it says:

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”
Jeremiah 1:5 NLT

Wow. Before he even formed us in our mother’s womb, He had already appointed us prophets of the nations! That there is the confirmation of how intricately he designed us. To that specific degree he designed us so uniquely.

God made us all unique. There are no two of us alike. What he’s given me is different to what he has given you. But you know what’s amazing about that?  He made us so that we would coexist. So that we would need each other! He knew where we would be and what we needed to be equipped with.

One of my favourite quotes is one that focuses on the fact that people need other people. It comes from a guy named Jamie Tworkowski who started a non profit organisation called “To Write Love on Her Arms”. They are based in Florida, USA. Jamie reflected brilliantly on the importance of people coexisting, of people needing connection with other people. He said:

“You’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things.”

– Jamie Tworkowski

How good is it!??!

But I believe it goes further than just that.

Why do we need other people?

Part of it is the uniqueness we carry. It is also the physical need for companionship. But don’t underestimate your uniqueness as a big reason why we coexist. Sometimes it is the words of others or even ourselves that unlock the windows around us and for others.

It is why we should share and be willing to be vulnerable with those we trust. Because God put something inside us from the beginning. It’s always been in you. Be SO encouraged by that. He has given you all you need. It is inside you and you have authority to use it the way he intended.

Last weekend I watched a Facebook live with Matt, Courtney and Rebekah from our HBC Community on the uniqueness God has created in each of us. What I listened to was a conversation that I can only call wonderful. I sat there watching and just continuously nodding my head, agreeing with the opinions of all. It was amazing to hear the heart of God come out in all three of them and also to hear the same themes that God had placed on my heart through Steven Furtick’s message earlier in the week come roaring back in so emphatically again. I just love the way God confirms his point.

The journey of our uniqueness is no accident. It forms who we are. It becomes who we are in Christ. I love how you put it Rebekah when you said that every part of your placement forms a part of who you are. Things like where you live, the people you hang around. They form part of your character.

it’s no accident you are there with the people you’re surrounded with. Right there you have the opportunity to bring a piece of God in to those moments. In those moments God has placed something specific within you for those moments.

Matt spoke of the idea of being vulnerable and sharing our experiences is quite often a bridge for other people that allows them to meet us in that moment. That where we’ve been is where others have been too. But further than that, where we’ve been may well be where others sit right now. Your words and experience may just be exactly what is needed for someone else.

So friends the point is this. We carry something within us. Something that God has specifically designed for us. It’s always been inside us. It’s part of what makes us unique but it was intended to be that way. He wants us to step up and step out. He wants us to speak, to use our voices. Our voice is important! What we say does matter. We are a living and breathing example to someone else.

Be encouraged friends. Be encouraged that your uniqueness is something intentional. It is like a toolbelt given to you by the Father. It is more than useful. It can do things only God intended them to do. That is a powerful thought!

He trusts us with that though. He loves us that much that he blesses us with the ability to do things for him and through him. And with that I think back to what Rebekah said in the Facebook Live event:

“it’s not a formula, it’s a relationship with God”

Indeed!

That’s what Its all about. The relationship we have with God. It starts there. It’s inside you. It’s always been in you.

We live in a place called Love

As 2020 ended and 2021 began i found myself doing all the usual things one does at that point. I reflected. I reflected on what was a wild year! It was crazy! It was unprecedented! In fact it was many things and probably too many to list. But as i sat there pondering and thinking about the current time and place i find myself in i realised that more than anything this was still the same journey i had been on. It’s my journey and it’s my story.

With that in my mind i know that nothing has ended and nothing new has begun. It’s simply time for the next chapter. It’s time to zero in on what i know and what i have learned and to keep pushing forward. It’s time to be ready for what happens next, whatever that may be.

I feel like a lot of what i took out of 2020 would be so different to many people. I didn’t have the health issues or job issues. Didn’t have the financial concerns either. I didn’t have the fear and isolation that so many spoke of. I was lucky. I feel blessed. 2020 was a damn brutal year the world over! That makes it a strange feeling to have. But it is real and i thank God So much for his provision!

I also feel stronger, i feel wiser. I feel at peace with life and with myself. Again with fear and uncertainty in our world that feels like the most contradictory of places to be in right now. But i do feel it and again i know that God has looked after me to this point today.

So as i sit here now, in early January I started pondering what to write next. I really wasn’t sure of where to start? I decided to rest on the idea and just wait for something. Anything! When the year is new i think there is always a tendency to start afresh. I knew deep down that was probably unlikely. That God at some point would get me moving again. One night as i sat there mulling over things with WordPress open, it came to me! I felt this gentle feeling, like a presence upon me and it said;

“We live in a place called Love”

I don’t know why it came in to my head? I’ve heard the phrase many times before. It’s a statement which can be worded differently but the idea behind it is always the same. When all is said and done, it is so important to our own lives to start from a place of love. As i thought about the statement i immediately thought about my interpretation of it. Where in my life was that true? Where was this place? Was it even simply a place? Or was it also an ideology? A place to start from and live by?

The answer? It was all those things!

So how do i answer my own question to “We live in a place called Love”?

So it is a place. It’s an ideology. It’s feeling a way of thinking. A mindset. But it starts with me. For me to be in that place i need to first exercise it. I need to start my day with it in mind. I need to action it in to existence.

It looks like many things in my day or your day. Yes. It’s a way of thinking that any one of us can learn to live by. It can be as easy as listening to someone, giving them your time. It can be showing compassion to a person you come across in your day. It can be choosing to bite your tongue from venting at someone. What ever it is, the decision is yours. How you react is your choice. That’s right! It starts with you. We are built to love, so, we can choose to love if we want to.

Now remember that phrase.

We are built to love.

A week or so later and the idea of living in a place of love came up once again. This time with my church. I’ve mentioned before but with the Pandemic in full swing our church took to Zoom. We’re now at close to 11 months, by the time i finish writing this it will be closer to 12 months in to that and it’s just been the most incredible and unexpected thing!

Here we were kind of unsure what to make of church in the early part of 2020. Would it work? Would we get sick of it after a while? None of us really knew. We Kind of just “rolled with it”. We went with the flow of things each Sunday. Not so much a structured event. There were no rehearsals. It was simply a matter of making ourselves present. Starting with that mindset of being in the right place.

What we got was, well? Where do I start?!?!

Our Church is a smallish church here in Sydney’s inner west suburbs. It always has been kind of small. There’s nothing “Mega Church” about it. These days 40-60 people would attend most weeks but we have a group of around 100 maybe that can attend at any one time and when the Pandemic hit I reckon 20 of them, maybe more, became MIA – missing in action.

Our church has always had a great heart. Full of all the kinds of people you love to have within your church. Servant like in the way we people got things done every week. Always without seeking reward and always seeking to give God the glory. Never done in a way that pumps our chest but seeks to get what needs to be done for God’s kingdom.

But it’s fascinating to think back to the first 3 months of 2020. I remember sitting in church socially distanced and it was all just a bit awkward. In a way, there was a barrier that just made interaction a little awkward.

By the time church moved on to zoom via “Church on the Couch”, what we didn’t know then but definitely know right now was that God was shifting our church in to a new realm. He was literally shifting us! He used this forced hiatus from “normal church” and plonked us in front of our screens from the safety and comfort of our homes.

There in the place we feel most safe and comfortable God decided to do something equally incredible. Without so much of a detailed plan church would proceed via zoom and what we got was an experience that was just so different. It was irrepressible, undeniable. It was was GOD.

I don’t think anyone could have seen what was to become of our Church family. While we have lost contact with some who we look forward to welcoming back one day, we have gained many who are so precious to us now. The kingdom of God is alive and well.

What we’ve seen on this journey over the past twelve months has been the building of a community that chooses to live in that place of love.

Yes.

We are now living in a place of love!

What we see each week in our community, and it extends to being a daily habit of ours, is that alignment of one’s mindset. It is the ability of any one person to start with a heart that loves. That same ability then starts from a mindset that chooses to love. It speaks love in to others. It actions love in the same way you would gift something to someone. Before you know it, love reverberates around your world and you begin to see what it actually does in the bigger picture.

Love is a big word. It’s a word that encompasses so many different looks. I’ve said it before, it’s an overused word. To the point it’s used in a context with little meaning to it. But actioning love is never insignificant. Never! My church family know its value, especially in the actioning of it.

We see its value because He, God, first loved us. When we love, we are in his light. We carry his light. We shine his light. We bring and give and gift his light to where it is needed. It is my starting place each day. To start from a place of love, his love. It is mine, it is yours. It is ours to take hold of.

I wanted to finish with two bible verses.

1 John 3:18 – “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other. Let us show the truth by our actions.”

Hebrews 10:24 – ” Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works”.

In both verses the actions or acts of love are crucial. Without them we cannot love properly. We need to physically action ourselves to do so. Its never enough to simply say it. We need to show it. Living in that place of love is rewarding. Sometimes it’s also challenging, tough even. But there is much beauty found there when you clear your path. There is much beauty there when you align your mindset to start from that place. Start simple and go from there. Actions are a simple thing.

One final thing. Living in a place of love sounds a lot like what i imagine heaven to be. A place where love so tangibly reverberates around us. What i am discovering right now is that fragments of heaven are dropping in to our lives like never before. Almost like this was part of the plan to begin with. Like this moment and this time was a place in time we were destined to be part of all along. God’s plan for us is our mystery. We see the direction we’re moving in but are never too sure of what is coming next. It’s part of the fun. For now though my eyes remain fixed on him and living in that place of love is where i know i am meant to be.

On the verge



“On the verge”.

These are the words that came to me as I spoke with the Father. What do they mean and why are they my words this morning? Just three words within a gentle early morning thought.

Only God knows.

But later as we did church that Sunday morning I would have the words spoken in to me that he is calling me into a greater revelation of my identity in him. He has been doing that this year already.

To go deeper? Deeper yet again?

Well, wow! I’m blown away by this thought but excited for it. I feel my courage rise up. I feel such joy. It’s a blessing to feel that right now. And maybe this is what the start of this is meant to feel like?

Over to you Lord…….

That was then and this is now, some 6-7 weeks on from when I started writing that initial piece. It’s now the end of November. December is tomorrow. God has a way of reminding me, of asking me to go back to something. He does this in part to show me what it is that he has done. When I wrote the initial part of this I said to him

“Over to you Lord……”

I was on the verge. On the verge of what? It was the tip of something. Where do you go when you find yourself with a question like that?

Well, you go to him. The Father, the creator, the grand designer of all things. You go to him.

So much of this year has already been about a journey with him. He’s kept inviting me and I’ve kept accepting the invites. The journey was never about discovering him. It was about experiencing him in new ways. In ways deeper than I had previously known.

Even as I come back to this piece I am writing now. I had NO Idea I would be back here at this piece today. But my Lord has his plan and his timing and as I sat with him this morning reading about spiritual gifts and how they all come from the same spirit (1 Corinthians 12:4) I was drawn back to this piece and the memory of having it spoken over me that “he is calling you in to a greater revelation of my identity in him”.

It’s there I realise that the revelation has been shown. I understand it. He has shown me the greater revelation of my identity in him. He’s taken me deeper, my eyes see what they didn’t see before this. My understanding is greater.

My spiritual gifts are very much where my identity in him shines through. They are something that comes from the Holy Spirit, and I find that it grows. The spirit, it grows within me and it shines from within me so that others can see it. Those that don’t know God will say that I am “unique” or “different to others but I can’t figure out what it is?”.

Those that know God intimately will test and see that it is from God. They will recognise similarities with their own experiences. And it is this that I want to achieve. I want to affect people the way that God wants them affected. I want my gifts to be used in a way that brings only glory to the Father’s name.

The deeper i go in to my indentity in him the more I see that it is less about me. I spoke very briefly to a small group of my writing this weekend past. I said that to me I was nothing more than a vehicle that God was using for his glory.

Further to that thought and this past weekend I also heard awesome titles such “wind breakers” and “wave crashers” as a way of describing the effect we can have for his kingdom. I wonder if I am simply another one of God’s “gift bringers”? Okay’ that’s a rethorical question. We are all in fact gift bringers.

But there is much purpose in the idea of being a “wind breaker”, or a “wave crasher” or a “gift bringer”. We are all one one of these, if not all of them. We’ve been blessed with the power of God to crash, break and simply gift within our lives.

It’s there that we affect the people around us. God blessed us with spiritual gifts so that we may use them. He blessed us with them so that his glory would be seen.

To answer the original question of “what was I on the verge of?”. Well I believe I was on the verge of experiencing God on a new level.

The deeper i went with him the more I could see his fingerprints on things. The deeper i went with him the more I could see him move and affect things and affect people. The deeper i went the more I felt him close by. There’s a peace that is unlike anything the world can offer. It stems from his intimacy and it is there that he keeps inviting me back.

Now I look back at that gentle whisper weeks ago and see the purpose in that quiet moment. Our heavenly Father has a timing and purpose for all and it doesn’t always work on the same time that we wish it would. But it does work and it does happen and when you see the proof of his work it always looks so perfect and feels so right and proper.

In recent weeks I’ve felt he’s also been reminding me that “we do this together – we are in this together”. Okay, so thats not a new revelation for me. I know fully well he is with me always but the need to speak those words out has felt timely in those I’ve come across.

Those words were for me to speak in to others. They are only simple words but they comfort and encourage. If God is for us, who can be against us? If our God who created us and designed our paths is with us each day then what greater encouragement can we receive? He is all we need and he has all we need.

That is the faith we all stand on. That is what he is inviting us in to, again and again. My prayer today is that you will hear God speak his wisdom in to you today and that as you accept his invitation your eyes open further and your heart will expand with more of what he wants. That you today will learn just a little more about your identity in him and continue to grow.